🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?